Brady the Book Sailor

Brady the Book Sailor came out of our brainstorming sessions for the Roald Dahl Imaginormous contest — and took on a life of his own!  This story turned into a love letter to the authors and characters who have inspired my real-life Brady the Book Sailor to become such an excellent reader!  He’s already at a second grade level – which makes for a super happy Auntie!  (Visit auntiekimberly.com for more content.)

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Pirate Grapebeard was a friendly pirate. His friends called him GrapeB. His beard was actually a bunch of grapes. He could pluck one of the grapes from the bunch and eat it – and then “pop” – another grape would grow in its place. He sailed the oceans in the land of Eadray in his bathtub ship, always in search of chocolate coins, his favorite treat.

Whenever Pirate Grapebeard passed another ship, the people in the other ship would yell, “toss us some grapes, GrapeB!” He would pluck some grapes out of his beard and toss them to the other ship! “Thanks, GrapeB!” his friends would say. “You’re welcome,” GrapeB would reply.

One day, GrapeB landed his bathtub ship on a remote island. He decided to get out and explore, to see if he could find some chocolate coins. Then right there on the shore, he saw a giant book lying on the ground. He thought, “I wonder if there are any chocolate coins in this book!” He got down on his hands and knees, and put his nose right on the pages of the book. And then something really weird happened – GrapeB fell IN to the book!

Brady the Book Sailor Meets the StoryVores

The second installment of the Brady the Book Sailor series…

Brady was a super awesome kindergartener who lived with his Mommy and Daddy and his dog Bailey. He was really good at reading and technology – and he also had a secret.

You see, Brady was a Book Sailor. With his Magic Purple Library Card, he could close his eyes, and imagine himself into the story from any book that he had ever read. One of Brady’s favorite things to do was to pick up his friend GrapeB the friendly pirate, and travel to the book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. GrapeB had a beard that was made entirely out of grapes. And when he dipped his beard into Willy Wonka’s chocolate river, his beard turned into chocolate-covered grapes! Brady and GrapeB found this out by accident, but when Brady told Willy Wonka about the chocolate covered grapes, Mr. Wonka loved the idea and he started selling chocolate covered grapes in addition to his regular sales of Wonka Bars, Scrumdiddlyumptious Bars, and Everlasting Gobstoppers.

One day, Brady was at the library with General Mommy to look for some more fun books to read. On one of the tables, he saw a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory book lying open. Next to the book were five tiny figures, about three inches high. It looked like a family playset: there was a mommy and a daddy and a boy and a girl and a dog. They were rolling around on the table clutching their tummies.

“Oooooooh, I am SO FULL,” the little girl.

“I know, me too,” said the little boy.” But I really wanted to find out if they turned Violet
Beauregard back to normal after she ate the gum.”

Brady got down on his knees, so that he was eye level with the tiny family. “Hello,” he said. “Are you all OK?”

“Mommy! Daddy! That little boy can see us!” said the little girl.

Brady the Book Sailor and the Library Bash

The third installment in the “Brady the Book Sailor” series…

Brady was a super awesome 6-year-old boy who had just graduated from kindergarten. He was very good at reading, but Brady didn’t just READ books!

You see, Brady was a Book Sailor. With his Magic Purple Library Card, Brady could close his eyes and concentrate really hard on one of his favorite books or DVDs (as long as they had a copy at the library), and when he opened his eyes, he would be INSIDE the story!

One day, Brady set out to do some Book Sailing. First, he picked up his friend, GrapeBeard, a friendly pirate who lived on an island – and whose beard was made of grapes! Every time he plucked one of the grapes out, a new one would grow in its place!

Brady and GrapeB decided to visit Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. GrapeB liked to dip his beard in Willy Wonka’s chocolate river to make chocolate-covered grapes! So they grabbed on to the Magic Purple Library Card and concentrated really hard. When they opened their eyes, they were in the factory, but no one was there – not Mr. Wonka and not even a single Oompa Loompa!

Brady and GrapeB yelled, “Helloooooooooo!” But no one answered!

PAGEQUAKE: Brady Saves The Day!

Part 4 in the Brady the Book Sailor Series
Written by Brady and Auntie Kimberly
Illustrations by Brady

One day, Brady the Book Sailor walked into the Library with General Mommy to return some books he had read and get some new ones.

Being a Book Sailor meant that Brady could use his Magic Purple Library Card to imagine himself into any book or DVD at the library! He liked to use the Magic Purple Library Card to pick up his friend GrapeBeard the Friendly Pirate, and then they would go visit their favorite characters, like Willy Wonka, George and Harold from Captain Underpants, Luke Skywalker, and LEGO Batman.

Being a Book Sailor also meant that Brady could see the Storyvores. The Storyvores were a family of tiny little people who lived at the library. Because their brains were in their tummies, they read stories to fill their tummies instead of eating food! The Storyvores were invisible to everyone except for Book Sailors, so Brady could see them.

Brady put his books into the machine that would check them back in, and then he went looking for Pilke and Padme, the two kids in the Storyvore family.

Padme asked, “Have you done a lot of Book Sailing this summer, since you are out of school?”

“Yes,” said Brady. “But I’ve had SOOOOO much free time, that I’ve already been to all of my favorite books and DVDs over and over and over again. I wish something new would come to the library, so I could have something different to do.”

Then Pilkey, said, “Did you hear about the new Book Sailor rule?”

Bang Bang Bingo Bingo Bong Bong (Also Known as Sound)

Brady and I submitted many, many, many, many entries to the Roald Dahl Imaginormous contest last spring. The idea below actually got selected for use in some promotional material about the contest! Although we didn’t win a golden ticket — or the trip to New York to see the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory musical — we tried to be good sports. And I will forever treasure the time we spent putting our heads together to come up with clever, creative, and downright silly ideas!

Check out auntiekimberly.com for more content!

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Bang Bang Bingo Bingo Bong Bong
(Also Known as Sound)

by Brady and Auntie Kimberly

Brady woke up on what seemed like a totally normal Wednesday morning. But then something totally NOT normal started happening.

Brady’s Avengers alarm clock started playing Darth Vader’s Imperial March from Star Wars! His alarm clock had never played the Star Wars song before!

Brady looked closer at the alarm clock, and listened super hard, and realized that the sound was coming from somewhere else.

Oh, it was probably coming from his giant stuffed Yoda! Which was still kinda weird, since his stuffed Yoda had never sung a song before. He got really close to stuffed Yoda and listened hard, and realized that the sound was coming from somewhere else.

He looked over at his rocking chair. Now it sounded like the song was coming from the rocking chair. But everyone knows that rocking chairs can’t sing!

Brady said out loud, “WHAT IS GOING ON????”

“Oh, hello”, said a voice from somewhere in the area of the rocking chair. “It’s just me.”

Brady asked, “Who are you?”

The Further Adventures of Sound and the Super Sprinkle Stealer 6000

(The Sequel to Bang Bang Bingo Bingo Bong Bong – Also Known as Sound)

Brady was a kindergartener who was so awesome that lots of people loved him!  Brady also had friends at school and in his Cub Scout pack!

Brady also had one VERY unusual friend. His full name was “Bang Bang Bingo Bingo Bong Bong”, but everyone called him “Sound”, since that was easier to remember.

You couldn’t see Sound or touch him, but he could make any sound in the whole wide world, which made him a super fun playmate. Sound could play your favorite song or pretend to be any movie character or sound like any animal.

Sometimes, though, Sound liked to play jokes.

It’s All Fun and Games Until Someone Loses a Shoe. (Or an Election.)

As Thanksgiving 2016 winds to a close, there’s just one thing left to do: Brady and I each wrap a pinky finger around one side of the wishbone from our turkey dinner. At stake? One wish, winner take all.

It’s been a good day. Brady was in charge of the pre-dinner prayer (“thank you for all the technology”). I was in charge of dessert (pumpkin mousse pie and pumpkin cupcakes). In between, we scarfed a boatload of food: turkey, green beans, stuffing, rolls, sweet potato casserole (with toasted marshmallows), and cranberry sauce (the yummy homemade kind, not the scary jiggly canned kind). After dinner, I volunteer for Brady Entertainment Duty, which gets me out of doing dishes, although the down side is that I’m not around to supervise the divvying up of the leftovers (#AuditTheStuffing).

Brady and I decide on our wishes, and then we each give our side a big tug. Brady (with an assist from my Dad) ends up with the larger piece. I ask him what he wished for.

Brady looks up at me earnestly and says, “I wished for it to rain candy corn.”

I lower my voice to a whisper. “Did you make that wish up? So you could keep your REAL wish a secret?”

He looks at me like I’m a total moron. (He’ll probably use this look on his parents in about 10 years).

“No. That’s my wish.”

We squeeze in together for a picture and smile for the camera – Brady holding up the winning end of the wishbone and me the losing end. We’re family – and best buddies – and we always will be. After a hard-fought competition, we are ready to put aside old grievances and move forward together.

Just like America.

Ha, ha! I’m kidding, of course.

Auntie Kimberly’s Diary

October 1

Ah, the fall season! A new October and a chance to start over! Time to shed old leaves in preparation for stunning springtime transformation into calm, serene, poised, confident goddess. Steps to said transformation shall include:

• Meditating every morning. (So as to maintain calm, serene, goddess-like status, as opposed to becoming easily flustered by other people’s fu- I mean fudgewittage).
• Hydrating properly.
• Buying locally sourced, organic foods. (Will eat ALL vegetables purchased and not let them rot in crisper until look like fifth grade science experiment.)
• Not forming relationship with any of the following: Pumpkin Spice Lattes, Dark Chocolate Pumpkin Mochas, Pumpkin Cake Rolls, Pumpkin Date Nut Rolls, Pumpkin Bagels, Pumpkin Walnut Crunch Bagels, Pumpkin Cream Cheese, or Pumpkin Cupcakes.

Will be poised, mature, beatific, saint-like Auntie to 5-year-old Brady and will NOT:

• Contribute to stuffed animal population control problem.
• Buy LEGO minifigures with tiny removable hair helmets.
• Purchase books with drawings of bear poop. (Drew Daywalt’s “The Day the Crayons Came Home” v. funny, but Dadat – B.’s grandpa, my Dad – suggests bear poop drawing is in poor taste and poss. grounds for having Auntie book-buying privileges revoked.)

The Disappointment Dilemma

It’s a sweltering summer day. Captain AmeriCute and I are returning from a Superhero and Sidekick outing to an indoor play gym and Target (one of his favorite destinations). I park my car in Brady’s driveway and hop out to open the back door. As Brady climbs out, I scan the back seat, and my heart suddenly drops into my stomach. My mouth is dry, and it’s hard to get the words to come out. I look at Brady, trying to keep my face neutral and my voice steady, so the fear won’t show:

“Where is Princess Leia?”

Our eyes lock, and I can see the fear overtaking Brady as well. “I don’t know!” he blurts out, looking horrified.

“Did you take her into Target?”

“No!”

Oh, Fu-, I mean, Fudgsicle.

Butterflies

Is there anything more miraculous in all of nature than the transformation from caterpillar to butterfly? (Well, aside from the obvious example of coffee beans becoming gingerbread lattes). How freaking awesome would it be to go to sleep as a caterpillar and then wake up with wings?

But human transformations are still pretty darn cool. Brady continues to blossom. His first grown-up tooth is coming in to replace the one he lost, and another baby tooth is loose. He graduated from pre-school last spring, and as he told his Mommy at bedtime the other night, “I think I’m getting the hang of this kindergarten thing.” (Last week, I asked him what the best part of kindergarten was, and he said, “snack time.” Yep, we’re related).

And I’ve discovered that even grownups can still go through a butterfly-like transformation. You never really know when life is going to wrap you up in a colossal chrysalis and work its magic.