‘Twas Three Weeks Before Star Wars

20191129_064850 (1)Our journey nears its end.

Brady asked me to write him a “Week Before Star Wars” poem like I did two years ago for The Last Jedi. But I was a teensy bit excited, and finished two weeks early.

The Galactic conflict between Rebels and Empire, Resistance and First order, is overshadowed by the inter-generational battle over the power of the prequels. For more on this topic, check out The Board of Education’s “Why is Dad So Mad.”

For more content (including original stories from my favorite Sith Trooper), visit auntiekimberly.com


‘Twas Three Weeks before Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker Edition
by Auntie Kimberly (but we all know the real star is Brady)

Just three more weeks until Skywalker’s Rise,
And Brady and I had hearts in our eyes!
On starwars.com we checked out the news,
Then checked out our list of pre-movie to dos.

We laid out our matching shirts to be worn,
Read Spark of the Resistance and Resistance Reborn.
The tickets were purchased and all printed out,
(Plus stored on my phone in case there was doubt).

We talked about possible spoilers and twists,
Then pulled out some pieces of paper for lists.
Since Episode Nine was making us wait,
We’d write down the best parts from One through Eight!

One page for each movie we’d work to prepare,
I put each one down on the table with care,
Four-Five-Six, One-Two-Three, Seven, then Eight.
(Because the appropriate order is by release date).

Then Brady took my arrangement apart,
And moved movies One, Two, and Three to the start.
I looked at the table, clearly frustrated,
And asked, “Brady, are you SURE we’re related?”

I let Brady use his own classification
With One, Two, and Three in the wrong location.
Just kidding. (Mostly.) As Brady and I know,
“It’s OK to disagree” (like on the Debate Show).

We put Yoda and Artoo on list One to Three:
3PO battle droid, Christopher Lee,
“The Sound of Music” on Naboo,
Ani slipped in the lava and got a boo-boo.

The “Rescue” of Palpatine, a Jedi named Mace.
Then Brady got a sneaky smile on his face,
I knew what that smile meant (I know how he thinks)
And said, “Brady, you’d BETTER not write JAR JAR BINKS!!”

New Hope” was the debut of John Williams’ great score.
(We called it “Star Wars” back then, with no number FOUR).
Leia gave Artoo a holo dictation,
Luke was kind of a whiner about Tosche Station.

“I’ve got a bad feeling” / Blue milk for your thirst,
Han Solo or Greedo: which one shot first?
Stormtroopers fell for a Jedi Mind Trick,
Kessel Run in 12 parsecs? The Falcon was quick!

“Let the Wookiee win” was great advice,
A lightsaber duel, Obi-Wan’s sacrifice,
X-Wings, a garbage chute, stolen data tapes,
The Death Star exploded, but Darth Vader escapes.

In Empire Strikes Back, a base in the snow,
The Imperial March, “I Love You” / “I Know.”
Tauntauns and Walkers and Wampas (Oh, my!)
“Do or do not. There is no try.”

An “asteroid” wasn’t quite what it appeared,
On Dagobah, Luke had to face what he feared.
Then he ran off to Bespin, which did NOT go as planned,
He left his lightsaber there. (Also, his hand.)

More questions than answers the ending created,
Were Luke and Darth Vader REALLY related?
And what would be Han Solo’s fate?
Took forever, it did, that three year wait!

In Return of the Jedi, Luke’s training’s complete,
A rumble with Jabba, a TRAP for the fleet,
Tears for a rancor, a golden swimsuit
The Ewoks were fierce (although they looked cute)

The sarlaac gobbled some tasty snacks
Lando and Chewie led air attacks
When Yoda revealed “there is another,”
We realized that Leia had smooched her brother.

A rebel attack made the Death star combust
The Emperor (or so we thought) bit the dust
I’m SO MAD the special edition ended all wrong
With a young Ani Force Ghost and that new Ewok song.

TFA brought us BB-8, Poe (and Poe’s hair),
Rey could run without Finn, but they made a great pair
Maz is a pirate, Ben Solo a traitor,
(He really freaked out when the droid stole a freighter).

And what of our friends from past history?
Leia’s a General. Luke’s a mystery.
A red arm for 3PO, Artoo’s asleep.
Han and Chewie hunt rathtars (not safe OR cheap).

Rey force-pulled Luke’s lightsaber out of the snow,
Which smacked Kylo Ren in his noggin. (Whooooaaaa!)
Starkiller’s blown up (“There’s always a way”)
Han’s defeated (Boo hoo!), but the map’s complete (YAY!)

To cover Last Jedi, I’ll need extra rhymes,
I saw it in the theater HOW many times?
If you ask, I’m evasive, but I’ll say less than 10.
You see, GIRLS can be fans, not JUST boys and men.

Luke tossed his lightsaber down Ach-To’s banks.
Holy sea sows, he’s cranky – he could have said “thanks”!
“Huggs” fell for a telephone prank, which was stunning.
(At least it wasn’t, “Is your refrigerator running”?)

Rey lifted rocks, and Rose “did talking,”
DJ was shady, Han’s dice rocking,
Adorable porgs, Luke’s change of heart,
Poe blabbed the escape plan, which wasn’t too smart.

Kylo Ren smashed his mask when Leader Snoke scoffed,
(Snoke toys are on sale, you can buy them half off.)
Finn called Phasma “Chrome Dome” (Sick burn!)
Yoda showed Luke still had lessons to learn.

Poe made better choices, and learned how to lead,
Rey borrowed some old Jedi texts to read.
OMG, Holdo! (We hope she’s insured!)
After battling on Crait, the Resistance endured,

Brady and I can’t wait to learn,
What happens in NINE– will Kylo turn?
Which Skywalker rises? What will D-O do?
What’s up with the Death Star? And Palpatine, too?

Could Rey be a Sith Lord, power hungry and cruel?
NOOOOOOO! (But that double-bladed saber IS cool!)
Are her folks really junk traders? Did Ben speak true?
Or bend the truth (like his namesake) to a “certain point of view…”?

(Rogue Verse: A Brady & Auntie Story)
I read Brady a draft of this poem today,
He raised his fingers and said, “You will add what I say.”
::types:: I HOPE HAYDEN CHRISTIANSEN MAKES AN APPEARANCE!!!
(I was NOT amused by his Jedi interference).

Why is 3PO wearing Chewie’s bandolier?
And will the “last look at his friends” bring us to tears?
And speaking of tears, what’s Leia’s fate?
And will there be porgs? WE CAN’T STAND THE WAIT!

When we wished super hard for the time to go faster,
The Mandalorian showed up with his rifle and blaster!
His armor of beskar, his people exiled,
His Razor Crest ship, and HOLY KENOBI, THE CHILD!!!

Whether needing a “toy” or eating a toad,
Or stopping the mudhorn, TOTAL CUTE OVERLOAD!!!!
“Awesome,” says Brady, “ADORABLE”, I gush,
(But we REALLY need Mando Claus to BRING US A PLUSH!!!)

So many adventures we’ve had with our friends,
The theater will be packed as this great epic ends.
We’ll bring our plush porgs (and buy popcorn or cookies),
And hope our seats aren’t behind a family of Wookiees.

With the opening crawl about to be shown,
I’ll look at my pal and say, “Brady, we’re home.”
And right next to him, oh, the sight that I’ll witness,
A Force Ghost of Leia! (GENERAL, not Princess).

“I Love you,” Brady will say to the figure aglow,
With the slightest of smiles, she’ll reply, “I know.”
“It’s YOUR destiny now, protecting the light,
May the Force be with you and to all a good night.”

— November 29, 2019

R.I.P to those who we’ve lost, but to Alec, Kenny, Carrie, and Peter:
We’ll miss you most of all.

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