I wrote this to amuse Brady (and myself) as the clock ticked ever closer to the premiere of The Last Jedi. You can also read more about our Star Wars journey here – and check out auntiekimberly.com for more content!
Of course, my apologies go out to to Major Henry Livingston, Jr. — or perhaps they should go out to Clement C. Moore. Clearly, this is a controversy for the ages – to rival that age-old question of whether one should watch the Star Wars movies in story order or release date order*.
*release date order
‘Twas the Week Before Star Wars
I try to use “inside voice” and not shout:
JUST ONE MORE WEEK ‘TIL LAST JEDI IS OUT!!!
The tickets were laid on the counter with care,
In hopes that Luke Skywalker soon would be there;
The Porgs were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Ach-to danced in their heads,
And I, Auntie Kimberly, tried hard to sleep,
But heard BB-8 chirping: beep boop boop beep!
Inside my head there arose such a clatter,
I said to my brain, “Hey, what is the matter???”
It said, “The new Star Wars will come out at last,
But will it answer the questions that Brady and I asked?”
What happened to Artoo before he awoke?
And which theory was right on Supreme Leader Snoke?
Will Finn’s fight with Phasma be a win or a loss?
And can Poe get along with his brand new boss?
Who are Rey’s parents? Why did Luke hide?
And why did Ben Solo join the dark side?
Will we like the new characters, Holdo and Rose?
And will Maz Kanata share all that she knows?
Does the bacta band-aid help Kylo mend?
And why would Luke say that the Jedi must end?
Finally, my brain starts to quiet the noise
Then I see Poe’s X-Wing all filled up with toys!
“Now! Threepio! Chewie! R2, and Yoda,
Obi-Wan! Padme! Wicket and Boba;
To the planet of Crait! to the top of the wall!
Ready for light speed! The First Order will fall!”
So to Canto Bight the strange crew they flew,
With the ship full of Toys – and Poe Santeron too:
As I scratched my chin, and was turning around,
Poe Santeron hopped out of his ship with a bound:
His brand new black jacket zipped up to his chin,
(He once had a brown one, but gave it to Finn);
A bundle of Porgs was flung on his back,
And they chattered away: “Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!”
Then I opened my eyes and turned my head,
And found I was curled up in my very own bed;
And I looked out the window and saw the moon gleam
And couldn’t wait to tell Brady I had a Porg dream!
I heard a loud THUMP and my head gave a shake.
Was I dreaming again – or was I awake?
I opened my eyes a super small smidge,
A big huge creature had opened my fridge!
He pulled out a frog, which he ate in one bite,
I couldn’t see well, so I turned on the light.
He had a green body, and a large round belly
That shook when he laugh’d, like a bowl full of jelly:
He was blobby and mean, as he sat on his butt,
And I yelled, “Oh, no! It’s Jabba the Hutt!”;
“I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” I thought!
“I really hope that I don’t get caught!”
I saw a shadow with a strangely shaped head
With cinnamon bun hair! I had nothing to dread!
Leia held her blaster and said, “Don’t make a peep”,
“I’ve totally got this – just have a nice sleep!”
And I realized: of COURSE I’d crossed the dream bridge.
In real life I wouldn’t keep frogs in my fridge!
But I’m SURE Leia exclaimed as she faded from sight:
“May the porgs be with you, and to all a good night.”
— Auntie Kimberly, 12/9/2017
R.I.P. Carrie Fisher
(Note to self: buy Kleenex for Friday)